Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Perfect Way to Fart

I usually try really hard to come up with a creative title with my poor, uncreative mind.
I didn't need to try hard today.
It really is about the perfect way to fart.
This is so attractive.
Well, here it is, so put away your snacks and get ready to fart.

There's been an image that showed the "perfect way to fart" found from a foreign website. I don't know why, but it's really big in Korea right now. Weird....
Anyway, you're supposed to, uhh, raise your butt upwards while kneeling shoulder-width apart.
Try making a triangle with the ground being the base and your body being the other two sides.

... apparently, this dude's going hardcore and serious about this perfect farting business.
Look at his face.
He even has papertowels under his knees.
Somebody get him a yoga mattress for Christmas...

Oh! This should be more useful to people.
You know when you're on a date and you really REALLY need to fart?
Just ask your date if he/she is cold.
Regardless of her answers, just assume that your date's cold.
Oh. Especially your date's ears.
So cover his/her ears with your warm hands.
Then just... go for it.
Let it all out,
and pray to god it doesn't smell too bad
or pray for some wind...
Here's an illustration below on how to do this...

For all the meat lovers out there,
try not to fart when other people are around.
It's scientifically (...and personally) proven that eating meat makes your fart smell... uhh... *throws up*
Try eating more vegetables because it makes it smell less like throwing up.
It's harmful for your body to hold in the fart, though.
So just go somewhere you can be alone, if not the bathroom.

 This guy wins the price.

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